Few words in email provoke stronger reactions than "thanks" and "please." Ask a room of professionals whether those words belong in a work email and you'll get a split vote. Half will say yes, obviously: they're polite. The other half will quietly admit that a certain kind of "thanks" makes their teeth grind. Both camps are right, and the reason is worth understanding before you hit send on your next request.
Why "thanks" can feel genuine or dismissive
The word itself is neutral. What changes the effect is placement and specificity. "Thanks for getting this done so quickly" names what you're grateful for, so it reads as genuine. "Thanks" dropped as the only word in a reply to a detailed report signals that the reader barely processed what you sent. That version feels like a door closing, not a warm acknowledgment.
There's a related version that provokes more than it reassures: "thank you in advance." Placed at the end of a request, it assumes compliance before the reader has had a chance to agree. For colleagues who feel they've been handed a task disguised as a question, it reads as presumptuous. Used on someone who genuinely has the power to say no, it lands worse still.
The fix isn't to drop "thanks" entirely. It's to be specific. If you can name the action, the effort, or the outcome you're grateful for, the word earns its place. If you can't, the email probably doesn't need it at all.
How "please" goes wrong
Like "thanks," "please" is grammatically polite. The trouble is that politeness in writing isn't just about vocabulary. It's about register, relationship, and framing.
"Please send me the report by Friday" is fine. "Please advise" is not. The latter has become a corporate reflex, and most readers read it as impatient or vague. It asks for advice without specifying what kind. It often appears when the writer wants an action, not a discussion. "Please advise" tells the reader that something needs doing without saying what.
A subtler issue is stacking. "Please be advised that as per our previous communication, please find attached..." loads the sentence with two "please" phrases that neutralise each other. Each one is technically polite; together they read as bureaucratic filler. One direct request is almost always stronger than two hedged ones.
The same goes for inviting questions at the end of an email. "Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions" is so over-used that most readers skip past it. If you want readers to actually contact you, name the specific thing they should reach out about.
The passive-aggressive "thanks"
There's a specific use of "thanks" that professionals recognise instantly, even if they've never named it. It appears at the end of a message that isn't really a request. It's a mild rebuke dressed in politeness.
"Please make sure the deck is formatted correctly. Thanks."
The "thanks" there doesn't thank anyone for anything. It performs gratitude while actually delivering an instruction the sender expects to be followed without discussion. Recipients read this correctly. The tone is closer to "I shouldn't have to be saying this" than to "I appreciate your effort."
This use of "thanks" functions as what linguists call a politeness strategy that also signals power. It closes off the possibility of pushback. Used by a manager to a direct report, it can come across as condescending. Used between peers, it often generates friction without the sender intending any.
When both words genuinely work
None of this means you should strip your emails of warmth. A well-placed "thanks" or "please" does real work when it fits the context. Consider three situations where they land cleanly:
- After someone has already helped you. "Thanks for staying late to get this across the line" is a completed thought that names what happened. It's hard to read that as empty.
- As part of a specific request. "Could you please send the signed copy by Thursday?" is clear, polite, and direct. Neither word is wasted.
- In a reply that acknowledges effort. "Thanks, that's exactly what I needed" closes the loop without being performative.
The common thread is specificity. The words attach to something real rather than floating as decoration.
Salutations and sign-offs deserve the same attention
If you're rethinking "thanks" and "please," it's worth applying the same scrutiny to how you open and close emails. The phrase you use to address someone shapes the tone of everything that follows, and choosing the right greeting or salutation for the relationship and context is a decision most writers make on autopilot when they should be making it deliberately.
The sign-off gets even less thought. Writers who spend a paragraph refining a request will type "Best," or "Regards," without considering whether it fits the email at all. Both the opening and the close contribute to whether a message feels warm, professional, cold, or presumptuous.
A simple test before you send
Before your next work email goes out, read any "thanks" or "please" you've used and ask one question: does this word earn its place, or is it just there to soften a command or fill dead air?
If it softens a command, consider whether you're making a request or issuing an instruction. Pick one, and write it that way. If it fills dead air, cut it and start the sentence at the first word that carries meaning. Your emails will feel more direct, not less polite. Readers almost always prefer clarity over cushioning, especially under deadline pressure.
The words aren't the problem. The reflex is. Once you notice it, it's hard to switch off.