Condolence messages for a colleague's pet or personal loss sit in uncomfortable territory. They aren't quite business writing, but they aren't purely personal either. They arrive in a professional context, carry real emotional weight, and can either strengthen a working relationship or leave the recipient feeling awkward. Getting the words right matters, even when the words feel impossible to find.
Why pet loss deserves the same care as other bereavement
There's still a tendency in workplaces to treat pet loss as a minor inconvenience rather than genuine grief. That's a mistake. For many people, losing a dog or cat after 12 or 15 years is one of the most painful losses they'll ever experience. Dismissing it with a breezy "sorry to hear about your cat" does more harm than silence.
Treat a pet bereavement with the same sincerity you'd bring to any other loss. The colleague standing at the other end of your message is grieving, and what they need is acknowledgment, not ranking of which kind of loss counts.
The structure that works for almost any message
A condolence message at work doesn't need to be long. Three elements cover everything that matters:
- Acknowledge the loss directly. Name what happened. Don't soften it into "I heard you've had a difficult time."
- Say something specific. If you knew the pet, mention it. If you know the person, reference what you know of them. A single precise detail lifts the message out of the generic.
- Offer something real or simply express care. A genuine "I'm thinking of you" lands better than a hollow offer to help.
That's it. You don't need to explain death, provide perspective, or fill silence with words. Short and sincere beats long and hedged every time.
Sample messages for a colleague's pet loss
These are starting points, not scripts. Adapt the language to fit how you actually speak and what you actually know about the person.
Shorter, for a colleague you know moderately well:
"I was so sorry to hear about Milo. Losing a pet leaves a real gap, and I'm thinking of you this week."
If you knew the pet:
"Hearing about Bella made me genuinely sad. She clearly meant the world to you, and you gave her a wonderful life. I hope you're being kind to yourself right now."
Neutral, if you don't know the colleague well:
"I heard about your loss and wanted to pass on my condolences. I hope you have good support around you."
For a team email, if a colleague has shared their news widely:
"On behalf of the team, I wanted to say how sorry we are to hear about [pet's name]. We know how much [he/she/they] meant to you."
Sample messages for other personal losses
A colleague might lose a parent, a sibling, a close friend, or a partner. The same principles apply: name it, personalise it where you can, keep it brief.
Loss of a parent:
"I was so sorry to hear about your father. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things. Please don't worry about anything here at work. We've got it covered."
Loss of a friend:
"I heard about the loss of your friend and I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. Please take whatever time you need."
When you don't know the details:
"I know you've been going through a very difficult time. I just wanted to reach out and say I'm thinking of you."
As the guidance on what to say (and not say) in a condolence email makes clear, the biggest risk isn't saying too little. It's saying something that turns the reader's grief into an obligation to comfort you, or that offers a silver lining they didn't ask for.
What not to say
Some phrases feel supportive but land badly. Avoid these:
"At least he lived a long life." The word "at least" signals you're already moving past their loss. Don't do it.
"Everything happens for a reason." This is almost always unwelcome, particularly in early grief. It implies the loss was necessary. It wasn't.
"I know exactly how you feel." You don't. Grief is specific to the person experiencing it.
"Let me know if there's anything I can do." This puts the burden on someone who is already overwhelmed. If there's something concrete you can do, offer it. If not, skip the phrase entirely.
"You can always get another one." This is specific to pet loss and it's devastating to receive. Never write it.
Choosing your channel: card, email, or message
The right format depends on your relationship with the colleague and the nature of the loss.
A handwritten card is the most personal option and is worth the effort for a close colleague or a significant loss. Email works for most professional relationships and is appropriate when distance or practicality rules out a card. A direct message on a work platform (Slack, Teams) can work for a brief acknowledgment, but only if that's how you typically communicate with the person. Don't send a condolence via a channel you've never used to speak to them before. That reads as performative.
Timing matters too. Send the message within a day or two of learning about the loss. A message that arrives two weeks later still means something, but it requires a brief explanation: "I only just heard, and I wanted to reach out."
When the loss involves a client rather than a colleague
The same principles hold, but the professional distance changes the register slightly. You'll want to keep the message a little more formal, avoid anything that might read as overly intimate, and be especially careful about length. A client who has suffered a bereavement needs acknowledgment, not a lengthy personal letter from someone they know primarily through invoices and meetings. Keep it to three or four sentences, express genuine care, and don't mix the condolence with any business matter. For a fuller treatment of this specific situation, the guidance on writing to a client who has suffered a bereavement covers the key distinctions.
One final thought on tone
The goal of a condolence message isn't to fix grief. It can't. The goal is to make the recipient feel seen, not alone, and free from any pressure to respond or reciprocate. Write with that aim and the words, however imperfect, will do their job.
Before you send, read the message once from the recipient's perspective. Ask whether it asks anything of them, whether it centres your own discomfort, or whether it contains anything that could sting. Opening and closing lines that set the right tone can also help you frame the message so it lands with the warmth you intend, particularly if you're unsure how to begin or end.
Then send it. An imperfect message sent is worth far more than a perfect one still sitting in drafts.